Why is it that I constantly feel like a let down; as if everyone in my life was expecting something from me that I can't give them? I find it strange to feel this way because my entire life I have worked so hard to be unselfish and fulfill others' needs before my own. I have always been the one to make fun of myself for a laugh and let others do the same to me without taking any of the ridicule to heart. I always recognize when people are having an off day and I try and make them feel better. At work I bottle up my emotion because I know that it is not a customer's fault that I'm having a bad day and I don't like to take out my anger on employees.I'd rather spread happiness over annoyance. I gave so much of myself in my relationships with others to the point where I feel that maybe I don't have much more to give.
Is that the case? Have I simply shared so much of myself and tried so hard to be exactly what someone needs that I just have nothing left to give? Maybe I have become selfish of my time and my feelings. I just wish I could shake that feeling that nothing I could do would ever be good enough. I wish I could stop letting everyone down and just give them what they need. I just don't think I know what they need. I don't think I know what I need.
I just want to see a smile every now and then.
